Another Day at the Office
by Hell's Pixie
Summary: Life is made up of the moments between missions. Agent Dani Kolin's life is far more interesting than most who works for SHIELD, the Avengers make sure of that.
1. Chapter 1

As it states in the summary, this was written in response to a challenge a friend posed to me when he found out that I was going to quit writing for a while. I just finished a heinous semester of master courses and I am burnt out from all the attention my thesis required. My plan was to use winter break as a way to recharge my hypothetical batteries so I was ready for next semester. I have a few other active stories on this site and, as unfortunate as it was, the idea of writing, editing, and posting new chapters for them seemed overwhelming and daunting.

My friend posed this challenge to me: Read the SHIELD New Recruit Survival memos and write a small story about one of them and, if that didn't rekindle my love for writing, then he would pay for my plane ticket our summer Las Vegas trip.

Sadly, I will be paying for my own ticket.

Please enjoy!

~Pixie

* * *

Dani let out an annoyed huff as a Nerf dart suddenly struck her computer monitor, the foam projectile sticking to the screen. She glanced at the narrow slits of the register vent to her left, "Would you knock it off, Barton?" She plucked the dart from her computer, "Seriously, how did you even make that shot?" An arrogant chuckle above her was the only reply she got. With a roll of her eyes, Dani yanked open her desk drawer, adding the dart to the growing pile the she had accumulated over the last week. Apparently, she had become agent Barton's new favorite target.

"It's an opportunity of a lifetime," She mocked, dropping her voice a few octaves, "A chance to get out and work with real superheroes. They're professionals. You won't have any problems." Dani glared up at the ceiling tiles darkly, allowing her voice to return to normal, "No, they're children trapped in adult bodies and I've become nothing more than a glorified babysitter."

She sighed as she brought her thermos to her lips, frowning when she found it was empty. Dani let out a disgusted noise, pushing herself out of her chair and yanked her office door open. "SHIELD employs some of the brightest people on the planet and yet no one has been able to figure out a way to make a coffee IV. Tony Stark can make a flying metal suit but can't figure out a safe way to simply inject caffeine straight into the bloodstream. Epipens should be standard issue."

Dani stumbled into the nearest break room, her mood darkening considerably when she found the coffee pot empty. "Someone took the regular grounds," An intern muttered, motioning towards the machine. "All that's left is decafe."

"Great, now, I have to kill some poor, misguided idiot. Doesn't the world have enough villains?" She snapped, shoving a hand through her hair; sending the dark waves fly. "Is it really that bad?" A random female agent asked as she picked at her lunch, "It's just coffee."

Dani leaned back against the counter, sparing the bottle-blonde a glance, "What's your security level?" The blonde puffed out her already ample chest, "Level four." Dani laughed, "Yeah that explains it. You'll understand once you've reached level seven, sweetie."

"There's coffee in Doctor Banner's lab." A deep, amused voice gently offered from the doorway. The break room practically erupted in twitters of excitement and barely whispered sexual comments. But Steve Rogers had that effect on the new recruits. "Lead on, Cap," Dani stated, joining him. She glared over her shoulder when the blonde loudly whispered about Steve posing for a centerfold.

Steve blushed darkly as they walked down the hall. "I can file a complaint for you, if you want." Dani offered with a wave of her hand, "You don't have to take that." He shook his head, "No, it's fine. I'm flattered, really; but, I suppose I'm still not use to it. I didn't get many comments like that growing up."

Dani put a hand on his arm, pulling him to a stop, "That doesn't make it right, Steve. They shouldn't get to objectify you like that. If you get sick of it or if it becomes a problem, come and talk to me. I'll take care of it." He laughed, "I will but I have a feeling that Director Fury wouldn't be too happy about the body count."

She smiled up at him as they continued to walk, "Bodies would mean paperwork and, Lord knows, I have enough of that as it is. I'm still fighting my way through the mountain that Tony's little stunt with the vending machines last week left me. No, there wouldn't be any bodies to find."

Steve laughed again, opening the lab door for her. Tony and Bruce were hunched around a screen, muttering at each other; completely oblivious to their presence. "Tony," Dani snapped, causing the man to jump, "Did you dare one of the new recruits to steal the coffee again? Seriously, didn't you learn your lesson with that when the last one ended up in the medic center for a week when he tried to take Coulson's doughnuts?"

"I didn't dare anyone, firecracker," Tony offered with a causal grin. "But he did offer to pay them." Bruce responded, moving forward to take the thermos from Dani, "I just brewed a fresh pot. Cream, right?"

"You are officially my favorite, Bruce." Dani gave the man a bright smile before leveling Tony with a murderous glare, "Stop causing me problems." He raised a challenging brow, "That sounds like a threat, Doc, what are you going to do? Please say that you're going to spank."

"I'll call Pepper." She said smoothly, crossing her arms. Tony looked horrified causing her to laugh, "That's right, Mr. Stark, there's a reason I have her personal cell on speed dial. In fact, I'm meeting up with her tonight for drinks with Jane, Natasha, and Darcy."

Tony sent her a sullen glance, "You fight dirty, Doc." Dani just laughed at him as Bruce handed her the thermos back. She inhaled the steaming liquid, letting out a content sigh, "My synapses thank you, Bruce. I had better get back to my office."

"I'll escort you," Steve offered, his large hand spanning across her lower back as he led her towards the door. She flashed him a smile before thanking Bruce again, allowing him to lead her from the lab. "Oh, Tony," Dani called over her shoulder, "Make sure the coffee is put back or I'll let Barton paint your suit pink."

Steve glanced at her as they walked, "You seem happy." She lifted the thermos, "Caffeine." He smiled, "No, I meant in general. I couldn't help but notice during our first few sessions together that you seemed so cold, so aloof. Now, you're always smiling, even though I know we give you a lot of problems to deal with. We're not the easiest team to deal with."

"You know, I was beyond shocked when I was offered this position." Dani stated, "There's a list a mile long of people far more qualified than me and, I guess, I was so focused on proving myself that I lost sight of the reason I'm here in the first place. It's not about me, it's about you guys, the team. You guys don't need another doctor trying to pull out your feelings and thoughts. You needed someone that you could come to if you wanted to talk, someone who understands everyone on a personal level. "

He paused when they reached her office, "A friend." She nodded, taking a sip, "I've been unofficially promoted to the group's den mother. Yes, there are times that it drives me completely insane but I wouldn't change a moment of it for the world. You guys are my friends."

Steve smiled at her before leaning down to brush a kiss against her cheek; blush creeping up his neck when he pulled away. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks, scuffing at the tiled floor with the toe of his shoes, "We're glad to have you, Danika." He offered her a shy smile before walking away.

She dropped into her office chair, taking another drink before turning towards her computer with a smile. "Not as glad as I am to be here." Dani muttered to herself. She worked for a few minutes, a puff of air breaking the silence, her only warning before another dart suction itself to her screen, "Damn it, Barton!"


	2. Chapter 2

Originally, this was meant to be a one shot but I couldn't get it out of my head. I hope that everyone enjoys the second installment!

~ Pixie

* * *

Four twenty-seven in the morning was meant for sleep, dreams, soft pillows, and silence. A normal person in their normal life wouldn't often experience four twenty-seven in the morning, it would just be taken for granted like gravity, water displacement, and Pepper Potts' ability for damage control. So, why? Why was someone pounding at her door at four freaking twenty-seven in the ever loving morning?

Dani contemplated regeneration as she glared up at the blackness that encased her cozy bedroom. The pounding at her door continued, forcing her to throw back her covers refusing to give her crotchety neighbor yet another reason to complain around the mailboxes. She maneuvered towards the relentless banging, letting out a curse that would have made Steve blush when she rammed her knee into the corner of the coffee table; still rubbing viciously at the spot as she yanked open the door.

"Happy," She sourly greeted the strapping personal assistant, "As lovely as it is to see you, I'm going to have to politely ask that you blow off." He ran a hand over his dark hair, "It's important, Doctor Kolin." Dani rolled her eyes, "You can tell Stark that it's a common occurrence with men of his age, one out of five actually, and if it bothers him that much he can come and talk to me about it during regular business hours."

Happy gave her a sheepish look, "It's Doctor Banner." She groaned, scrubbing at her face, "Hell, just give the man a kitten. It'll be fine." He paled as if he was imagining some defenseless kitten being flattened into a furry pancake. Dani rolled her eyes, "Fine, let me throw on a pair of sweats-"

"There isn't time for that," Happy interrupted. Dani glanced down at her small sleeping shorts and wrinkled blue tank top, "Seriously?" He nodded, starting to look panicked. She groaned again, pulling a well-worn gray zip up hoodie from the coat closest, grimacing when she noticed that her shorts were only slightly longer than the sweatshirt's hemline; before slipping on a pair of flip-flops.

He allowed her to pause long enough to lock up and pull her long hair up into a ponytail before ushering her down the stairs, stating that waiting for the elevator would be a waste of time. Happy weaved through the early morning New York traffic at a nerve-wracking pace and all too soon they pulled into the underground parking garage of Stark Tower.

Tony was waiting for them at the door, clamping a hand around Dani's wrist, and tugging her towards the elevator. "What'd you do? Stop for coffee?" She glared at him as the elevator climbed, "I would be in a better mood if we had. I'm blaming you for whatever this is, by the way."

"How is this my fault?" Tony snapped as the doors smoothly opened. The floor vibrated under her feet as a roar ricocheted off the walls, "Christ, Tony, I told you to stop poking the poor man."

"I didn't do this!" He proclaimed as they rounded a corner. The other team members were gathered outside a pair of thick steel doors. Darcy threw herself into Dani's arms the moment she caught sight of her, "He broke my boyfriend, Dan-Dan." Pepper patted the younger woman's shoulder, "I know he did, sweetie. But Dani's here now and she'll calm everything down and we'll beat Tony up later."

Dani scowled at Tony over Darcy's head, "I knew this was your fault." Tony held up his hands, "How was I supposed to know that it was going to blow up?"

"Unstable chemicals have a way of doing that, Tony." Jane stated with a yawn as she leaned sleepily against Thor, "I warned you." Dani untangled herself from Darcy, "And, like always, I'll clean up your mess and make everything better. What would you do without me?"

Clint gave her a roguish grin, "Die horrible, squishy deaths?" She sent him a dark look, "Yeah, don't think that I've forgotten about Tuesday chair jousting debacle of yours. You and I still need to have a long discussion about that. But, right now, I'm busy cleaning up after Tony; so, I'm giving you a pass for the night. What's with the doors?"

"Smash room." Natasha answered with a straight face. "Smash room?" Dani repeated slowly. Steve answered, "Tony had it built for situations like these."

"Not a stupid idea now, is it?" Tony demanded, looking smug, "I'll only take your apologies in limerick." Dani rolled her eyes again, pulling at one of the heavy door until it swung open a few inches, "And I'll only accept yours if it's accompanied by an extra-large cup of coffee." She squeezed through the crack and into the large room. The 'Smash Room' was amply named, it was full of random thing that the Hulk would be able to tear apart and beat into pieces until he calmed down.

She carefully picked her way through the wreckage until she spotted the panting giant surrounded by an entire village of decimated straw filled dummies. "Hey, big guy," Dani offered, her voice calm and even as she motioned at the gutted dummies, "Was it something they said?" Hulk turned on her with a primitive growl that Dani felt to her bones but she didn't wince or shrink away; instead she continued to calmly stare up at him. She hoisted herself on a dented metal box, crossing her legs, "You want to talk about it?"

"Blew up," Hulk rumbled as he kicked a flopping dummy away from him. "Yeah, I heard," She said, "You okay?" He huffed at her, throwing a broke park bench across the room, "Tony jerk."

Dani laughed, "Yes, yes he is. But that is common knowledge, big guy. You know, you have everyone really worried out there" Hulk looked towards the doors, "Darcy?" She gave him a stern look, "I won't send her in here unless you're calm. We don't want Darcy to be hurt, right? Are you calm enough for me to get her?"

He looked down, shame crossing his features. Dani hopped down, very gently laying a hand on his arm, "You kept her safe, big guy. You did a very good job at getting here in time and you kept everyone safe that way. Every single person out there understands that you just need some time to calm down; no one thinks any less of you, big guy, because you need some space when you get mad. Would you like me to go and get Darcy for you?"

"Darcy," Hulk cooed, sitting heavily on the spongy floor. Dani smiled, patting him lightly on the shoulder before heading for the doors. Darcy was only one there, a large, steaming mug in her hand. "He okay now?" Dani nodded, gladly accepting the mug, "Yeah, he's good. You can go to him, he's asking for you."

Darcy smiled; slipping passed her but paused for a moment, "Thanks, Dani. Really, I mean it. You're seriously too good for us." Dani laughed, "Remember that when you're Christmas shopping."

Dani made her way towards the bank of elevators, knowing that the rest of the team had returned to their respected floors now that the crisis had been averted. Steve was waiting for her; leaning against the wall, a gym bag at his feet. "I was wondering if you needed a ride back to your apartment." She gave him a tired smile, taking a drink of her coffee before answering, "I can just catch a cab, you don't need to do that."

"I was heading to the boxing gym, it's no trouble. I wanted to talk to you about something anyways." Steve stated, calling for the elevator. "Besides, I wouldn't feel right with having you take a cab while you're, well. . ." He glanced at her, blushing. Dani tilted her head, the thick rope of hair swinging behind her, "While what?"

He cleared his throat while stepping onto the waiting car before mumbling, "While you're dressed like that." A laugh escaped her before she could catch it causing him to bashfully look at the floor as his blush darkened. She slipped her arm around the crux of his elbow, leaning against him, "You're too sweet to me, Steve. You're the only person I know that would worry about me like that."

Dani stepped back as the doors opened into the lobby. She set the now empty coffee mug on the reception desk, smiling at the chipper attendant before following Steve to the parking garage. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Someone keeps taping pictures of unicorns on my locker and all over my office." Steve admitted while holding the door open for her, "Is there some kind of pop culture joke that I'm not aware of concerning unicorns?"

She stopped with a groan, running a hand down her face, "It's got to either be Barton or Tony. I bet they're goading some of the new recruits into too; God, I'm so going to kill the two of them one of these days." Steve looked at her, "I'm still confused. Should I be offended? Are they saying that I fight like a unicorn or something?"

Dani laughed, touching his shoulder reassuringly, "Believe me, Cap, no one doubts you're ability to whomp-beat things. They're just being stupid." Steve nodded slowly as he took her hand, gently leading her towards his bike; clearly still trying to figure out the meaning behind the unicorns. He stuffed the small gym bag into one of the sidesaddles, carefully sliding a helmet on her head and securing the chin strap. He slung a leg over the bike, waiting for her to get situated behind him; her arms circling his toned waist. "I'm afraid I still don't understand. Why unicorns?"

"Well," She started, trying to figure out the best way to handle the explanation. Honesty, she found, was beast when handling the Avengers; they respected honesty, no matter how blunt. "According to legend, unicorns can only be tamed by virgins."

Steve stiffened, "How much paperwork would it cause you if I forced them to eat the next picture I find?" She smiled, tightening her grip on him, "Not as much as you think."

"Good, to know." He said, pulling onto the street. The sun started to rise, sparking off windows until the towering buildings seemed to sparkle with the morning light. Dani rested her chin on his shoulder as the city around her began to wake. It seemed like today, like always, would be interesting.


End file.
